jopolniaczek:

_{Helen: You have to give me the recipe.
Jessica: But you don’t need it. You don’t get sick.}

jackiecello23:

queensarahjean:

icaruses:

This man is just like traumatized for life like-

He has to go into counseling for this shit 

His family and friends and even coworkers feel alienated

“Henry we talked about this-“

“HE TOOK THE ICE CREAM WITH HIS HANDS”

“Henry that’s what he’s supposed to do-“

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY HE ORDERED A CONE IF HE WAS JUST GONNA TAKE THE ICE CREAM-“

“If he gave you the money that’s what he’s supposed to d-“

“A CUP IS 50 CENTS CHEAPER”

He never has healthy relationships with anyone ever again.

His life has been defined by this moment.

This poor guy 

reblogging for the flawless commentary

DEAR GOD ITS ON MY DASH AGAIN YES.

mermaidarcade:

tai-kwon-joe:

Sometimes, the adolescent elephant will throw itself upon the ground as a sign of extreme emotional distress, commonly known as a “tantrum.”

Same

screams:

I FOLLOW BACK 1OO%

pizzaforpresident:

when you aren’t your best friend’s best friend

I seem to have a disorder where no matter what people say I always hear a food reference. My friend said something like, ‘This is a really nice car,’ and I was like, ‘Did you say birthday cake?’ It sounded nothing like birthday cake but that’s what I heard. Actually, I wouldn’t mind some birthday cake. Or a slice of pizza, for that matter.

aduhm:

when you ask a classmate what the homework is and they say “you should have paid attention”